Carlton. sigh.

This is my cat kitten Carlton. When we adopted him, he was teeny-tiny, weighed one pound and was super-cute but managed to procure worms which resulted in frequent use of the carpet extractor and lots of swearing on my part. He is now 1 1/2 years old (and totally worm-free after a bajillion dollars in vet bills) but continues with the same curiosity and playfulness inherent in a toddler kitten. 

Carlton. drives. me. crazy. 

His favorite activities include sleeping in various locations around our home:

It's very startling to walk into a room, feel like something is watching you, and then look up to find this. 

That's the dirty laundry hamper. 

... which is creepy cute, and mostly harmless. However, he also enjoys:

• jumping on to my printer and mashing all the buttons with his paws until it is broken and/or spewing out sheets of paper with random digits on it.
• chasing red laser beams.
• jumping onto Dylan's aquarium and knocking off the lid to the filter behind the dresser where we can never retrieve it so that in the future he may....
• removing the carbon filter from the aquarium and dumping it in various locations around our home.
• randomly attacking my leg with his claws.
• probably destroying various other things which I am not aware of, yet.
• and this:

He's very talented. Note the end of the roll deposited INTO the toilet.

"Do you like?"

 Here, he is showing his pal Monty his 'art.'

Per usual, Monty is not amused.

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There was this cat at PetCo for adoption named Gail, who was described as being "Low energy, low maintenance" which serendipitously describes Monty's personality as well. After gawking at Gail for hours and my whole family exclaiming how much they love her (ME INCLUDED. RE: low energy, low maintenance), we concluded that we cannot bring another cat home since, you know, apartment restrictions and all. BUT I LOVE HER. And, low energy, low maintenance. Everything you would want in a cat.

I assume that means she does not rip apart every new toilet roll you put in the bathroom.

Low Energy, Low Maintenance. It's totally the next YOLO.

Note: SOMEONE PLEASE ADOPT GAIL. I lied and told my family she was adopted since we all cry about her all the time. Our family evenings at home are full of fun I tell you!