How UPS allowed me to realize that I am capable of managing my anxiety

Alternate title: Ode to my Smartphone
Bear with me.
So you know how I had to turn in my FINAL portfolio by 5pm today, right? So with the 35 minute drive to my university, between stuff I had to finish up at work and having to pick up Dylan and then the "Oh my gosh I'm so hungry" stop at McDonald's, we were cutting it close until I hit.... (dun dun dun).. the TRAFFIC on I-75 S (funny how quickly I forget these things). Sidenote to self: avoid commutes at all costs.
Well.

I'm just going to add the disclaimer here that I in no way work for or am compensated by any smartphone companies.. because the tale I am about to tell may sound like one long ad for a smartphone. BUT IT SAVED MY LIFE.Okay, so old me would be all "Oh my god, death! despair! panic! I cannot make it to school on time and I will never get my certification and then I will die alone on the street, homeless."
BUT new me has a smartphone and has learned to manage her anxiety! SO! I use my smartphone to first look up the e-mail sent by the secretary and call her directly by the simple touch of a button. I explain to her that I am in traffic and she's all, "Nope, leaving at 5, sucks to be you!" No she didn't really say that, and I can certainly understand needing to leave at a certain time but seriously you don't need to be all robot about it.

Please keep in mind I am at I-75 and 11 mile at this point, and it is 5pm. The whole getting-to-school-on-time thing was not happening.

I almost panicked. A little. But then I used my SMARTPHONE (insert some superhero theme song or something here) and used Google to find the number to the UPS store near our home. Please keep in mind it is 5pm and I am at 11 mile and there.is.traffic. Oy vey.

So I call UPS near our home and calmly ask if I ship something overnight, can it get to Detroit by 10AM tomorrow? And THANK THE LORD JESUS, it can! By golly!

Caveat: Must get there by 6pm for this to happen. Oh.

Now I am faced with the challenge of getting from 11 Mile to our home in a matter of 45 minutes. BUT ALAS, enter the SMARTPHONE (superhero music.. yadda yadda). I pull up my GPS and am all, "TAKE ME TO THE NEAREST UPS... pleeeeease." The SMARTPHONE TOOK ME TO THE NEAREST UPS. No joke. I nearly kissed the UPS employee and told them a million times that they saved my ass, when I arrived at UPS a mere 15 minutes later (hooray for the smartphone!). I shipped that brick for the low low cost of $40 (ouch) and it is on its way to be reviewed, critiqued, and ripped apart ONE. LAST. TIME.

AND Dylan was entertained by several rounds of Angry Birds on the way home ON MY SMARTPHONE.

I got home at 6:30, ate a gallon of Butterfinger ice cream and swore up and down I will never. ever. ever. go through school again.

Morals of the story:

1) I am finally able to handle stressful situations in a rational and calm manner. WE ALL SURVIVED me almost not turning my final portfolio in. Look at that!

2) Dear Smartphone, I'm so sorry for anything bad I ever said about you. I totally understand that you need to take rests and not like, actually make phone calls or turn on from time to time, but you are there when I need you. And for that, I love you. I may want to marry you. You saved my ass, is all I'm sayin'.

3) No more grad school. Ever.

Career change

I would like to be a professional fort-builder for kids. Equally as fun as my current job; likely to get more praise and positive feedback for my work. Although children may point out that the roof is sagging too much, and they would have put the pillow on the LEFT side, not the RIGHT side... hmm.

Countdown

Until you are home next

Excellent quote/deep thought of the day

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
— Albert Einstein

To health and well-being...

So I was contemplating our discussion about chasing happiness versus 'being' happy (or as my friend, you know who, would say- creating your own happiness). This friend was also reflecting some yoga teachings a few weeks back and mentioned the focus on cleaning, cooking, and gardening. While this sounds very anti-feminist, I actually relate to how this can bring you peace and well-being. A clean home makes me feel so much more, well on top of things (even if I didn't do the cleaning) and also allows me to relax a bit. Gardening.. well I can't really do that now. In the past I've complained that I wouldn't be interested in gardening and it seems like a waste of time but now I can really see the beauty in planting your own flowers and seeing them bloom.

I decided I would like to find some sort of focus instead of feeling so lost and miserable and I would like to focus on cooking. I hate the way I am eating lately (or the past several years, whatever) and I would like to incorporate more naturally-occurring nutrients and try new things. I searched some recipes and here is my goal list (I think I made the wonton soup before but everything else is new):

• Shrimp Stir Fry
• Minestrone Soup- This would help eliminate much of the sodium from canned soups I'm having such an issue with
• Cucumber Sandwich
• Lettuce Wraps
• Sausage Primavera
• Spaghetti Squash
• Wonton Soup
• Raspberry Mint Chocolate Soy Smoothie
• Some sort of quinoa recipe.. I'd like to also try this 'superfood'

I know it sounds all hippy-ish of me but I would really like to spend more time cooking, since I enjoy it and if I get home at a reasonable hour (which I typically do) I can use it as sort of a catharsis instead of plopping down in front of the computer and being a zombie for the rest of te evening. I'm really enforcing the 'no thank-you bites' and Dylan has begun eating more things like tacos, and... tacos, but hey, tacos! That's a big deal!

I would also like him (and me) to eat more vegetables and less processed food. I've already taken steps towards organic meat and dairy, and I would like to start eating more foods where I can actually pronounce the ingredient list or know what is in it. I don't want to be one of those people who obsesses about food all the time and only eats vegetables or is lacto-ovo-whatever-vegan and went to vegan academy or what not, I just want to start eating more 'real' food, and cooking more.

I hope this brings me some sort of emotional peace (OMG I'M A TOTAL HIPPY NOW, WHERE'S MY GRANOLA?). But, you know, the focus of cooking dinner and serving a meal that is good for me (even though Dylan will likely take one bite and then gag and fall on the floor) will, I think, allow me to care for myself which is something I try to do in order to give more to those around me.

AND NOW the behaviorism aspect- I plan to make this a goal and create a calendar of when I will cook what to implement antecedents (i.e., scheduling) to the behavior (i.e., cooking) and eliminate barriers (i.e., not having ingredients) (i.e., do you think you can use 'i.e.,' in a sentence as many times as I just did? I BET NOT).

(And overuse of parenthesis).

(A comment that was made as feedback for one of my reports stated, "Your wordiness hinders you. Frequent use of parenthesis make it somewhat unclear.")

(I wonder what they meant?).